Today I had a major setback. I had an interview for a job I really wanted to get. It was the worst job interview I've ever been a part of. I screwed it up royally - mostly, because I have such a difficult time expressing anything positive about myself.
In the car on the way home I had chocolate, coke and a whole pack of mentos. I was on the verge of tears the whole way home, so upset that I had fucked it up. I wasn't even a little bit confident, I felt fat, unattractive and stupid - and my old mindset kicked in. The food will make you feel better - after that awful experience, you deserve a treat - the old crap that got me feeling so fat, unattractive an stupid in the first place. I hate feeling like this.
The only good thing about today, I won't spend the next three weeks wondering if I got the job......
~.~.~.~.~.A blog about trying to find myself ~ or at least a better version of me - on a journey toward wellness.~.~.~.~.~ A new body, new mind-set, vitality, energy, new friends, and hopefully a new life - one that is filled with passion!
Marney, don't beat yourself up, I like to live by the motto, that if it is meant to be, it will be. Maybe it was not the right time or the right job. Everything happens for a reason. Smile, accept the downs and look forward to the ups.
ReplyDeleteOh blast, I just wrote a comment and it disappeared. Do I dare say it was brilliant and insightful? Possibly not.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping that a week on here I'm reading this post that you are feeling way better. I'm a firm believer that when one door closes an even better one may be opening, but we need to be open and ready to accept it. So please don't be feeling unattractive, fat or stupid. You are none of those things I am sure. It's so easy to fall into the trap, we've all been there and done that, different things will set us off. But to conquer them is to be strong. It's a skill I guess that I'm still learning, just like exercising.
Carol
www.finding-carol.blogspot.com
Thanks guys, reading this post, a week later, I'm so angry at myself. Not for screwing up the interview, but for my silly reaction. Must do better next time!!
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