I have dreaded this very post since the moment I joined 12WBT 14 days ago. I have been keenly working my way through pre-season tasks, setting goals and quashing excuses happily. In 14 short days I have honestly worked hard to concentrate on my mind-set in relation to changing my life, and becoming a stronger, fitter, happier and healthier version of myself - and I'm not too modest to say, I'm really starting to get somewhere with it! I am making better choices, I'm working out - and I'm not hating it! I have lost 3.5 kilos, and I haven't even started on Mish's plan yet - the pre-season tasks are working for me!
This task however has filled me with dread. This task is about accountability. Mish makes no demand on who you share this information with, but for me, the more open I am and the more transparency there is with my intentions, the more accountable I will feel. The reason I have been filled with fear, is because I decided that I am going the whole hog. I am sharing my number and several of my goals here, and on facebook. This means that people I went to high school with, (the nice ones and the ones that will be judging me), ex colleagues, my ex-hubby's family, my family, friends both old and new and anyone who reads this blog, will know my number. That number that no-one ever wants to disclose.
The reason I have decided to post it so very publicly, along with my goals, is so that I have absolutely no choice but to succeed. If I tell people my number, I tell people my goals and then I fail - I will DIE from the humiliation. This works for me - this will motivate me, this will spur me on when I want to give in, when I don't want to get out of bed in the morning..... It will help me to JFDI ( Just F*&king Do It!!) when I really don't want to.
So here goes...............On the day I joined 2 weeks ago, I weighed in at 107.9kg. I have since lost 3.5 kg, and now sit very uncomfortably at 104.4kg. My 168cm frame doesn't carry this weight well, and it causes me physical pain, tiredness and severe lethargy. I have fibromyalgia, which is exacerbated by carrying excessive weight. I carry a lot of mental pain by being obese also, and for the most part, I don't like myself very much. I have joined Michelle Bridges 12WBT (12 Week Body Transformation - http://www.12wbt.com ) and I intend to change my body. I will lose at least 15kg in my first round, which begins in 13 days and will run for 12 weeks. By the end of the round, I will be able to run 5km without stopping and to touch my toes for the first time in my life. I will achieve these goals by following Michelle's program, training at the gym, eating clean and working hard on my mindset lessons. I am going to work very hard to feel my emotions, and stop eating them. I will also work very hard to begin to like the person that inhabits my body - I deserve no less!
Writing this blog has given me the accountability that I need to ensure I succeed. Wish me luck friends, I will take all the love, luck and good vibes you all want to throw my way. To my 12WBT friends, I'd love your comments about how you are going on this program!
~.~.~.~.~.A blog about trying to find myself ~ or at least a better version of me - on a journey toward wellness.~.~.~.~.~ A new body, new mind-set, vitality, energy, new friends, and hopefully a new life - one that is filled with passion!
Good for you for setting the bar for yourself. Weight is such a personal thing, heck I have spent the last 11 years hiding my weight from my husband, I was so ashamed. Then when I got real I admitted to him what my weight was. And you know what, the sky didn't fall in. And he has been so supportive and been my best cheerleader. So accept support from wherever it comes from. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWell done on being so brave. It is difficult to put it out there like that but if this is what keeps you on track good on you. At the end of the day though, don't stress about other people's opinions, especially those that are not important to you. Who cares what they think. Thisis about YOU and you will succeed because you have chosen to.
ReplyDeleteWe all go through this when deciding to let people know our number, I did when I started my own blog as well, but it is important to take responsibility for what we have done to ourselves and also for the measures we are putting in place to correct that.
Thanks guys. Carol, I'm glad the sky didn't fall in and that you can let go of your same - it is lovely to have a cheer squad who want you to succeed! I'm finding this blog quite therapeutic Greg, think it's helping me deal with emotions, which is great.
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying reading your blogs - it's funny we are all on the same program, but the journey is still so personal.